sqrewloose

Odd but true: If you can't love someone, it's easier to be angry at the person.

They're totally opposite feelings, but it momentarily alleviates the pain. It works well especially in a public setting when you need to maintain composure and keep a straight face. However, not so well in a relaxed mode, especially when alone, or even worse when you are watching a movie which is meant to trigger your waterworks. What happens is your mind follows the storyline, but your heart replaces what you should feel (for the characters in the movie) with what you feel for yourself. The end-result is the same- tears stream down your face. But really, what are you crying about?

Every part of me seems to want to act opposite to what I should do... When unguarded, I find myself using every reason I can to replace sadness with anger. Something, someone to blame. But I know bitterness will get me nowhere, and I have to constantly pray that I will allow God to live in me... that I may act/speak/think in a manner that will be worthy of His grace. It's such a real struggle, and it weighs me down. I know I need to let go... I know I need to let God. But it's hard to forgive, when there is no remorse. Grace is what I received through the cross, a gift I did not deserve, Lord help me to extend grace.

sqrewloose

The long Labour Weekend consisted of a mish-mash of happenings, lazy days spent lounging around the house was interspersed with catch up sessions with good friends whom I haven't been able to keep in touch with for a while. Ahhh.. good (sometimes even deep) conversations about life, relationships and things that matter to those of us with mutual interest really fires up the spirit. I'm looking forward to more of that as I'm only halfway through my long labour weekend!! Whoopee! Believe it or not, it's my first holiday since I got back to work in July, and a much needed one indeed. Guess that's what you get when you work in a lab where your supervisors do not observe weekends, much less public holidays!

But the washing machine has beeped, and my bathrobe is all soft-and-fluffy (cos I finally gave in and bought softener) PS: Ping I so understand how u feel about writing about the mundane things that are so important to you, and yet seem so trivial when put into words. So I'm going to sign off, hang my laundry, curl up in bed with the new Jamie Oliver Magazine and perhaps doze off!

Things to do for the rest of the holiday:

1) catch up with 3 other bunch of friends.
2) Bake 2 cakes, maybe.
3) Read some review articles.
4) Prepare for Catalyst bible study.
5) Make some trendy corsages from buttons and pretty fabric (they've been on my to-do-list for wayyy too long).
6) Do the laundry