sqrewloose

alright.. I'm at KLIA now. Boarding in 15mins.. i think! At the moment, i'm not feeling sad or anything, just trying to keep detached from my emotions and hopefully arriving in NZ will wash away any sort of sad feelings about leaving home yet again. It was a good and full-on 3 weeks, heaps of time spent with family and friends, but sadly, slightly less with my beloved. Oh well, there will be other chances, I hope.

Thanks every1 for all the great hang-outs that that greatly revolved around Penang/KL's glorious food! It was certainly great to see everyone again. And blex, it was great to finally have our "reunion"!! though not all of us were there, which is a real pity, that will have to suffice for now. Perhaps in the middle of this year, we might be able to do smth!

All u KL ppl, ie eunice, euodia, rae (and ting), it was good to be able to visit u all, and join u at Acts church.

Sue it was great to see u again after 3 yrs!!!! Shopping with u is still the same! And i got jeans from MNG too, thanks to ur recommendation!

 Alright.. i better start running or i might be late. Till then! xoxo

sqrewloose

Ok, it's been about 2 weeks since I got back here... and at the moment, it seems like I've been swept right back into life here. Well, with a full time job, that doesnt really leave me with much time right? But it was hard the first week back.. I didnt remember it being like that last time? I rmb'd looking forward to coming back here after my first summer break back home- probably bcos i had 3 mnths at home and was looking forward to starting uni again. Then, in my second year... i was basically traveling heaps between NZ, Aust and Msia, so I probably didn't have much time to miss home. Plus I got back to NZ 2 days before the term started. But this time... it was just slightly harder, probably because I hung out with friends heaps back home, and part of me also regrets time that was not well spent with Dan. But I'm glad I got to spend heaps of time with my family.. whom I actually missed heaps by the end of last year. So yeah, had a few moments of tears and for the entire first week back here, I kept trying to remember the countless precious moments I had back home, which I was so unwilling to forget.

 So, my project has been full-on so far, and had to present at a group meeting last Weds. Things for Honours seem to be unraveling, and funny how less than a month before Honours, people/institutes decide to offer scholarships! Remember how I said (did I?) it will be highly likely that my tuition fees and living expenses will be funded this year by IRL? That is looking really positive and in fact, I love the project that I will be working on this year. Incidentally, within the past 2 weeks, I was offered 2 other almost-full scholarships. One from another department in IRL, and another from my ex-supervisor in ANU. I was telling mum that God decided to rain His blessings down on me, 6 months after when I felt as if completing another year of Honours was a far-away dream. This only reminds me that God works at His own pace.. cheeky no? But I have certainly learnt heaps from this whole "ordeal'.

So now, I need to write up and application for yet another scholarship from uni, and start packing and arranging to move to my new place. Did I mention that it's a massive place I'll be moving to in a week or two's time. Karen forewarned us that it was a house straight out from the 1950's, and that was true! There were Bohemian Chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, on top of the stairs, a powder room with a marble table and two massive mirrors by the entrance, a telephone room (or the naughty room or the harry potter room), an attic, a massive lounge, a nook and cupboards/statuette shelves in every corner of the house. But there is a purpose to this massive place, with 7 bedrooms. A vision to this year's flat! I'm quite excited, yet realise that it will be a year of a lot of laying down of oneself and being obedient to the greater commision in order to carry out the vision. Will talk more about the flat's vision next time.

In the mean time, I need to get some rest for my full-on lacrosse weekend. WE're having our 1st Annual Wgtn Lacrosse Open, and we'll be playing a few matches. I'm excited, and you'll (you know who u all are) be proud to hear that I have matching orange lax stick and mouthguard!

sqrewloose

 Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

------------------------------------------

I feel helpless when my mind drifts to the sorrows of those left behind. And yet, there is none that I can do in my human power, but to pray that as wild as a stream in the desert, peace will envelope those who are left to grieve.