life has been quite great. been really occupied with college college and college. and cf too. But it has been great lah. ok, actually, i dunno what to say here. I think i've lost the touch of blogging.

anyway, everyone chao-ed dee..and practically everyone is in INTI Nilai. and ohya, reen is in MMU. Reen, i hope you're doing fine there! I bet you already hav a bunch of totally fun and cool frens! Dont forget ur faithful friends here yea. *Ahem*. eheheh...missing you already.

i'm still waiting for the JPA interview results. I think it'l be coming out end of this month. Hmm...if it's based on my performance during the interview, then i guess it would be 50/50 chance. But, then, we shouldnt forget that there is God's hand in that too. So, i guess it's all in God's hand. And imagine, he already knows! He knows whether i got the scholarship, He knows where i'll be studying, He knows what i'l be studying, He knows what i'l be working as, He knows what i'll grow up to be, He knows who i'll marry(ahahah!), He knows how many kids i'l have, He knows how i'l look like when im old. He knows every detail about me. He knows me SO So well, that sometimes, it's more than me knowing myself! And yet, im here, trying to figure out what to do next. I'm here, trying to figure if im even meant to go overseas to study at all! I'm here wondering what course i'm supposed to take. I'm here wondering which route am i meant to take. I'm here wondering, what i'l be in 10 years time. I guess, it's human nature to want to find out what will happen to us in the future.But, God withholds all these from us, and sometimes, he even withholds His wonderful plans from us. Surely, He did not intend to make us lost and devastated. Or even if he meant it to be so, He wants us to look to HIm instead, and find rest and peace in Him. He wants us to learn to walk with HIm, hold His hands, and lean and trust in Him. And, He knows us best, and He knows what's best for us.

Yeah, so i'l be trusting Him to lead me to anywhere and everywhere he wants me to go. And as my friend was sharing with me, as long as we're walking with Him, hand in hand, we wont have to worry about losing our way. Instead, we can walk and enjoy the things along the way, and yet have confidence in Him!

im now frantically searching for physics stuff. My assignment is due on this coming thursday and im barely halfway through. As usual i guess. Burned da midnite oil last night and only slept at 3am. So, im totally konked out and tonite, i've got to continue this assignment! aih...caught 40 winks in the library just now, and i even dreamt! all i want now is a massage!! ok, im off to the library now...argghh....

it's monday. Well, no monday blues i guess, except for the fact that i forgot to bring my diskette for accounts class, and i sat in the class for one hour, pretending to do something. So, far, today has been great. And, i guess eu wye's already halfway across the ocean. He has really been a blessing to the youth, and he certainly is a testimony of one who is willing to serve God with all his heart.

I was watching the VCD of the Columbine HIgh shoot-out which happened in 1999. Well, the father of on eof the victims testified and it was really really touching. I cried umm...buckets, maybe? anyway, the victim, Rachel Scott, was shot 3 times, and the last bullet which went through her temples killed her. When asked whether she believed in Jesus, she said yes. And as her father had shared, the last thing that Rachel heard before dying was "Do you believe in Christ" but, ultimately, the next thing she would have heard was "well done, you good and faithful servant". Imagine, how many of us can boldly claim that we believe in Jesus when we're actually staring down at a loaded gun. It may seem easy now, but i think it's really going to be a test of our faith when we are actually in that situation. And in her memorial service, she had touched so many people that some even came to know the Lord through that. Imagine, even at your death, GOd's able to use it to reach out to the unreached. It's just so awesome! TO all of you out there who havnt watched it, try to get hold of the VCD. It's something really worth watching and it had spurred me to continue to live my life now to fullest, for Him!

Gotta go for lunch...to be continued...ahahah...

hmm..i think i've lost the touch of blogging. Cant remember what to write.

well, i guess everyone's leaving and has left! Ru Ting left last Thursday for matriks in Kedah. And even as i was sitting in Ap's car on the way back that day, i felt like crying. Ok, not really the fact that RT's leaving, but more of my confusion over my future. Even as i listened, everyone seemed to hae plans , well, at least for next year. And, here i am, still wondering (wondering hard) what's in store for me. It kind of overwhelmed me at that time, and after getting home, even as i did my devotions, i couldnt help but let the tears stream down. Then, i read this devotions book which lead me to Psalm 91. Well, it may have seemed like any other psalm, but, it really spoke to me at that time. Cant remember exactly what it says, but it's smth about resting in the shadow of the Almighty and dwelling in the place of the Most High. God's so real! Ok, some may see it as mere coincidence, but i know that it was God's way of showing that He understands and feels our fears and confusion. Well, there's no doubts that im still as lost and all, but i guess, the reassurance that God gave me really strengthened me.

Anyway, i just asked some fella bout the JPA results and i was told that i wont know till mid-june. Aihhhhh...

Homeworks and assignments seem to be piling up. I must must must "bertaubat" this week d. I must, I will!!! ahahha..

There are so many movies out this month and next month!! I wana watch SHREK 2!!! But i think movie-going has already burnt a hole in my pocket !!.

yay!! there's a 31st this month! baskin robbins, here i come!! ahaha..

there are so many movies out now, and i dont think my pocket can keep up with the rate of these movies are released. havent got a chance to watch the super nice (according 2 a lot of ppl) Shrek 2. And today, "the day after tomorrow" premiers. aih..i guess i should just stay at home and study...HAHA!!

yeah!!!...in another week, i'll be 18!! i want jenny's choc cake!! gona make sure my mum gets that for me... ehehe..have to thick skin a lil'..hmm..so, is 18 the mark of my freedom,or izit 21? but, i guess there's not much difference cos i think im already getting most of my freedom. nope, i wont be throwing any party like ai ping. Never really like the hassle of organising a party. But, im having moral assessment on the 3rd! so silly! aih...But then again, im looking forward to it lah.

i just realised that by talking to ppl, i get to discover more about myself. A journey of self discovery. Hmm..no wonder fellowship is so important. Well, even as i shared my thoughts with my mum ysterday, i came to realise that i've been kinda lazy in searching for scholarships and finding out about unis and all. Well, i guess, i sometimes use the excuse of waiting on God to reveal His will to brush aside any efforts of doing research myself. I also come to see that i am searching so hard for HIs perfect will, that sometimes, i just stop searching if i dont find it. And for all i know, God's sitting up there waiting to bless me in whatever decision i make. Well, of course it has to, at least be in the will of God. Surely He can bless us thorugh any choices that we make. After all, God can turn all things for the better. And, the fact that He gave us free will and wisdom to make right choices, i guess, i shouldnt be afraid to make certain life-changing decisions. It's not easy at all man!! And this really takes faith.

I've fought the good fight, i've finished the race, and i've kept the faith
-2timothy 4:7-

this verse surely encourages me a lot

Currently listening to: li ting's song
Currently feeling: bouncy

just got some of reen's farewell pics up on the gallery. curi-ed frm mei's blog wan... sorrielah..a lil' delayed...

great great great! worship last saturday was great. I was kinda tired out coz i left my house since 8 am and i did not get to be home till 10 something after youth. so, during worship practice, i was like asking God to help me to come to Him with a genuine heart which is oblivous to my physical weariness. Plus i was singing on stage, and i just didnt want it to be any kind of performance thingy. I somehow just knew that without God, i would be too tired and sleepy, and i wouldnt be able to give my all to HIm. Anyway, during worship, my heart was really prepared, and His presence was definitely there! I totally forgot bout my tiredness, and the peace of God just covered me..it was so awesome. Plus, during prayer, i was reminded that we should come into His courts with expectations that He would visit us. What we expect is what we get. but then again, we shouldnt come with a fixed and comformed mindset as to how He would move. By doing this, we are not only limiting God, but we also risk missing Him because he did not come the way we expected Him to. So, i guess the main point is that we should come freely into His presence. With a heart so light and empty, so that He can fill us up! It's so exciting, and it always will be! I was so refreshed.

I watched Shrek 2 d!! FINALLY! ahahah..thank you chiu yen!! I especially loved the pinnochio part, where he was supposed to tell a lie. MUahahah...lawak man...Hillarious!

gonna be super busy this week. College, moral test, family night practices, cf, cg...etcc..but i guess it's good lah. The more activities i have, the more productive i'll be. Or else, i'l be sleeping nia.

yay, going for Baskin later. Sg. Dua. anyone wana come?? I'll be going with my frens at 5.30 or so to grab some sweet,high-caloried, fattening cream (guilty already? muahahah )

feeling great today! no monday blues, surprisingly.

ohya, deb, cyen and anyone else who's crazy over the shopaholic series, the new book is out!!!! "shopaholic and sister"...it wont be out till september 2004, i think. YAY!

Currently feeling: gr8

persecutions...hmm...have been thinking about this. Pastor Joseph mentioned something about persecutions we face as Christians. And was talking to Varsha and Li ting about it too. well, i guess, everyone faces this one way or another. It may come like a Big Bang to some ppl while, the others get it subtlely.

you see, sometimes, ppl call me "holy". Holy, not in the sense that i carry the bible and preach, but i guess it's my principles, and the way i see things. we can never deny that as Christians, we see some things from a totally different perspective. And, it may differ from the "general" thinking. Actually, it hurts sometimes. Especially when Christians themselves call us that. And, hello?? arent we supposed to live like that?? But then again, it varies with individuals lah. But even as im typing this, i'm reminded that: "If you're gonna be ashamed of me, I'll be ashamed of you before my Father" (paraphrased) So, i guess this speaks for itself.